As the past ten years have been for me a trajectory of learning and growing intellectually and spiritually, for my husband of 59 years, the past decade has marked a decline into dementia. It seems a cruel irony that just as I began my exploration of academic fields such as mythology, anthropology, comparative religion, and depth psychology, Norm began to lose his memory and his cognitive abilities. I was sadly deprived of an opportunity to share with my mate the excitement of my studies. Instead I have had to draw on my inner strength, my love, and my patience, in ways I could never have imagined.
So, how do I greet this next decade, or--more realistically--this next year? New Year's Eve celebrations have always seemed to me to be occasions of forced gaiety, whereas this time of year might more appropriately be used as a time for quiet reflection and contemplation and as an opportunity to look back with the wisdom of hindsight and forward with a measure of hope. I no longer compose a list of resolutions, for too often they only remind me of my inability to fulfill them over a sustained period of time. But what I think is appropriate on this last day of 2007 is to state a simple intention, which is this: I shall endeavor to always be kind. If each of us could remember this simple rule, surely the world would be a better place.
I am reminded of a poem by the ancient Persian poet Hafiz, which addresses this very point:
It happens all the time in heaven,
And some day
It will begin to happen
Again on earth--
That men and women who are married,
And men and men who are
Lovers
And women and women
Who give each other
Light
Often will get down on their knees
And while so tenderly
Holding their lover's hand,
With tears in their eyes,
Will sincerely speak, saying,
"My dear,
How can I be more loving to you;
How can I be more
Kind?"