SPACIOUSNESS

Last night at a gathering of our Pacifica group, each of us lit a candle for some current issue or goal that we wished to focus on. For me it was spaciousness. I have been thinking about that term since my friend Susan K. introduced it to me some time ago, so I decided to share some of my reflections with you.

The usual expectation as we grow old is that our world will shrink, that we will limit our contacts, restrict our activities, and narrow our horizons, that we will largely withdraw from society and will focus more deeply inward. That prospect makes a lot of sense, and I will probably be inclined to do that at some point. But right now I feel an urge to expand my horizons, to reach out for new experiences, to enlarge my outlook, to encompass more people and incorporate more projects into my life. I yearn for more spaciousness.

In my yoga class I do these gentle stretches, thus creating more space in my joints and between my vertebrae (at least that is the way I picture it), and this increased space allows for greater flexibility. Once there is a bit more room between my bones and muscle fibers, it is possible to bend this way and that with much more gracefulness and ease. Having this additional elasticity also makes it less likely that I will fall and injure myself, for I can adjust more quickly to missteps. I feel safer.

I have recently returned to playing the piano, something I had abandoned for years, feeling my fingers were too stiff to perform well. I am now playing, even doing scales, stretching my gnarled and arthritic fingers, giving them much needed exercise, and in the process rediscovering the pleasure of making music. The same principle applies to the voice lessons I have started. By vocalizing, I am exercising my stiffened and thickened vocal chords, and in doing so I hope to elongate them and make them more pliable which will in turn make my singing easier and more pleasing to the ear.

It occurs to me that just as I create a sense of spaciousness in my body, my fingers, and my vocal chords through these gentle exercises, I must also stretch my mind, thus making more room for unfamiliar concepts, for different ways of looking at life, as well as for improved skills in handling all the new technological devices that are currently so popular. In other words, I wish to find greater spaciousness in my thinking. I hope to learn to understand and accept a broader range of perspectives and ways of being in the world. This is not simple, for I live a very protected and insulated life, surrounded by material abundance and immersed in the love of family and friends. For the most part I share common political views and spiritual values with those close to me, a sharing which offers me constant comfort and support, and for that I am deeply grateful. So learning new skills and listening to new and challenging—and admittedly, sometimes distasteful—views requires a definite spaciousness of mind, one that I hope to acquire.

I am reminded of yet another area where spaciousness seems significant, and that is in the heart. When we hear that someone has a “big heart” we assume that person has room for kindness and love for a wide spectrum of humanity. Just as I feel my lungs expanding, making way for more air as I take in deep breaths during my yoga class (and in my voice exercises at home), so I can sense my heart expanding when I open it to feelings of compassion for others, especially for those unlike me—strangers or adversaries. Like yoga, this takes practice, so I am working towards developing a greater ability to open my heart to those I know, to those I don’t know, and to those with whom I have difficulties. This openness holds the rewards of reciprocity, but also involves the chance of occasional rejection and pain.

So, I must be open to all promises and possibilities as I aim for spaciousness—in my body, in my mind, and in my heart. It is a risk I am willing to take.